In many facets of society, conversing using the question-answer format, where two people take turns asking and answering questions, is most common.

Another common feature of communication is formulating your response to what someone is saying before they’re finished speaking. To do this, you need to stop paying attention to what you’re hearing, so you can think about your next sentence.

Whether the focus is on asking questions or preparing your next response, what’s missing is actively listening to better understand the other person’s perspective.

***In MI, reflective listening, where you offer back what you heard before moving on to the next thought, is a foundational principle. To get started on this, you can practice listening to the entire sentence the other person says, then pause, and say back to them what you heard. This will provide them an opportunity to comment on that to ensure you understand what it is they were trying to communicate. Repeating this process will shift the way you interact with others.